What if David Lynch Directed ‘Dirty Dancing’?

I can’t sit through this movie, but perhaps I actually would have liked Dirty Dancing if it was directed by David Lynch. I came across this video a while back and thought it was pretty funny – it’s a trailer of the 1987 box office hit…if it was helmed by the Master of the Odd, the Eerie, the Intentionally Ambiguous Mr. Lynch. There are a lot of funny film trailers to be found on the web, that is for sure. I think this one did a great job with picking out the various clips to use. The editing and use of music (very Lynchian) is also very effective. Great pull-quotes and some nifty little effects complete this very funny parody — and actually make Dirty Dancing look somewhat watchable. It’s a quick 90 seconds – so give it a watch…and enjoy! (You have to go to YouTube to watch it….it’s worth it.)

Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjvuCOlkO4E&feature=colike

Weekend Humor: Sir Ian McKellen on Acting

I saw this video a couple of years back — it made me laugh then, and it surely makes me laugh now. Here, Sir Ian McKellen is interviewing Ricky Gervais for a stage play. But McKellen wants to make it perfectly clear to Gervais  just what acting in this play entails. Gervais, of course, gets it — and no surprise, makes for a great straight man in this short skit. McKellen is nothing short of hysterical here, laying bare the “secrets” of the trade — and how he was able to pull off playing Gandolf the wizard in Lord of the Rings when, shockingly enough, he is not even a wizard in real life. This is great stuff…

Weekend Humor: Titanic the Sequel

As you know (and perhaps you even went to see it), they released James Cameron’s overrated and overlong Oscar-winner Titanic last month in 3D. So if you wanted to see Rose let her man drown without putting up any fight whatsoever on a plank that was large enough for more than two people, you could have done so — in 3D no less! How romantic is that? Anyway, I came across this video on YouTube and thought it was pretty funny. It is a fake sequel to the box office giant where Jack is thawed out and brought back to life decades and decades later. The creator of this video also cleverly edits a number of other Hollywood blockbusters in this humorous 4:30 minute trailer. It’s kind of fun to see how many you can recognize. Give it a watch if you haven’t seen it yet — it is almost as funny as some of the sappy and maudlin dialogue in the original.

Weekend Humor: The Alamo DraftHouse Message

If you are a film geek like me, chances are that you want to scream at that person in the theater sitting in your line of vision who whips out their trusty cell phone for a quick little chat. Chances are that you want to throw Jujyfruits at the patron who is having a nice, friendly text chat over the course of the movie. Chances are that, you too would like to ‘accidentally” spill your large bucket of buttery popcorn all over the douchebag whose phone goes off whilst in the theater.

Well, the folks running The Alamo Drafthouse apparently feel the same exact way and are one of the few theaters to institute a zero-tolerance rule…if you talk or text during a movie, they kick your ass out. What do I say to that? Simply this…”Bravo!”

I saw this video on my friend’s Facebook page — and had to post it here on The Lantern for the “Weekend Humor” section. It’s an actual voicemail message that an irate (an obviously uneducated) customer left after getting the boot from one of their theaters in Austin. It’s a pretty funny listen — and I totally admire the fact that the people at The Alamo Drafthouse stand by their position. I only wish every theater followed suit. Enjoy!!!

Weekend Humor: Kubrick Bloopers!

I thought I’d celebrate the 40th anniversary of Stanley Kubrick’s brilliant A Clockwork Orange (Christ, I’m old) in completely inappropriate fashion – by finally doing another ‘Weekend Humor’ post in Mr. Kubrick’s honor. This humorous collage of animated Kubrick bloopers was created by Dan Meth – and features some fun “outtakes” from Spartacus, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Eyes Wide Shut – and of course, A Clockwork Orange. Kudos to Mr. Meth (who I do not know) for creating a funny bit here that I happened to stumble across on YouTube.

“Clockwork” certainly deserves a much more serious posting, praising its outstanding merits – and I will make sure to do that at some point soon. This will do for now. A Clockwork Orange remains, for me, one of the greatest films ever made – a shoe-in for my Top 20 of all-time. Click and enjoy — have a great weekend everyone!

Tommy Wiseau’s Follow-Up to “The Room”

A couple of months ago, I did a piece (click here) on the fantastically awful cult film, The Room, after having the pleasure of viewing it with an enthusiastic crowd at a midnight showing in Dallas. If you haven’t had the good fortune of seeing this monstrosity yet, then I am sure you have heard all about it. The film stars Tommy Wiseau, who also wrote & directed — and he put millions into the making of it. But that film (still popping up on screens throughout the country) was made in 2003. What has the remarkably frightening and bizarre Wiseau been up to?

Well, funny you should ask. My good friend Phil sent me a link this past week and it will give you a good idea. The 12+ minute comedy-horror short is called “The House That Drips Blood on Alex” and for anyone familiar with Wiseau, you must give it a peek. For those not familiar with his fine acting skills, but have heard all the hype — then you must definitely watch and see what all the fuss is about. Phil says that he should start his own acting school. He is probably onto something. Perhaps he would put Uta Hagen, Stella Adler and Lee Strasberg to shame. Or…perhaps not. It should be of no shock to anyone that Wiseau here is ridiculously awful. He plays Alex, a man who makes a deal with a mysterious stranger for a very special kind of house. Watch as he enters it like it’s the first time he’s entering the home; when he signs the “deed” to the home and exclaims, “Wow this is a fancy pen! – quack, quack, quack!!!” It is absolutely hilarious. Also, as he stands outside his landlord’s “office” and says it looked different before…“Like a business office place, Thomas!” All great stuff and a must-see for any fan of The Room. (btw, don’t let the bloody image here fool you into believing it’s scary….it is not frightening in the least.)

To watch the short film, “The House That Drips Blood on Alex,” click here.

Weekend Humor: Turturro on Playing “The Jesus”

The Coen Brothers film, The Big Lebowski is easily one of my favorite all-time comedies. Most “movie people” I know can’t get enough of it. I find it astonishing that the movie has developed such an enormous, devoted following over the years — complete with “Lebowski Conventions” that have appeared across the country. And though the film stars Jeff Bridges (by Law, I have to say how awesome he is), John Goodman, Julianne Moore, and Steve Buscemi — it is the cameo appearance by the brilliantly versatile John Turturro as master bowler, Jesus Quintana who absolutely steals the show for me.

Turturro has been one of Hollywood’s most underrated actors for some time now, delivering sensational performances in films like Barton Fink, Miller’s Crossing, Quiz Show, Unstrung Heroes, and the seldom seen Mac. It is a shame that he has gone completely unnoticed by the Academy, garnering zero nominations in his illustrious career. But it is Turturro’s immense talent and imagination that turns about 8 minutes of polyester-clad screentime into something much more memorable. In this short video, Mr. Turturro discusses how the character was created and how he went about approaching this iconic, alley-dancing intimidator. It’s very funny and surely, worth watching for any fan of the film. And always remember…

Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

Nick Park’s Hilarious “Creature Comforts”

More weekend humor for you! This is certainly one of the funniest short films I have ever seen. Nick Park — the man behind all of those wonderful Wallace & Gromit movies — released “Creature Comforts” in 1989. It eventually won the Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film. The film is presented as a quasi-documentary, interviewing various animals about how they feel the living conditions are in a particular zoo. Watch for all the tiny nuances throughout that make this such a treat to watch. The interplay between the polar bear family is a riot, the background turtles and the female gorilla (with the prison-like marks counting off the days) are especially funny — and the melancholy mountain lion (“You don’t have a-space!”) is my absolute favorite. A great satiric piece by a master animator.

Weekend Humor: Remembering Greg Giraldo

The very funny and very talented stand-up comedian Greg Giraldo died this past week in New Brunswick, NJ of an overdose of prescription medication. He was 44 years old. If any of you have ever watched those Comedy Central Roasts, then you surely know Mr. Giraldo’s work. Personally, I thought he was one of the few reasons to even watch these shows. He was certainly one of my favorite stand-ups to watch — quick, witty, and socially conscious with a “street” kind of style for good measure. I remember seeing him live at the Comedy Cellar in NYC a couple of times and considered it an absolute treat. And don’t let the “jokester” status fool you — Mr. Giraldo earned a bachelor’s degree from Columbia University and a law degree from Harvard Law School. Yes, you read correctly — Columbia and Harvard.

Giraldo was a regular on David Letterman, Conan O’Brien and Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil. The New York Times lauded him, calling him “a talented comedian with a winning personality.” Mr. Giraldo and his talent will surely be missed by his many, many fans. I’d like to think that now he is up there preparing to roast Michael Jackson, Bea Arthur, Gary Coleman and Corey Haim.

In honor of his memory, here is a particularly funny excerpt of his work. Here, Giraldo discusses obesity in America, the “sanctity of marriage” and the concept of soul mates.

Weekend Humor: “The Social Network”

In honor of the upcoming release (10/1) of the widely anticipated David Fincher film, The Social Network, I thought this would be a pretty appropriate video to post this weekend. As you know, the film tells the story about the birth of the insanely popular Facebook website. I stumbled across this video that spoofs the motion picture and does a pretty good job at citing all of the annoyances that come with being on the Facebook website (pokes, relationship status, FarmVille, and “what the hell do I do with an electronic drink?!”). The “critic quotes” are very funny too. Lots of good-looking movies finally starting to come out so enjoy and have a great weekend!!!

FaceBook: The Socially Challenged Network

Weekend Humor: “The Shining” as a Rom-Com???

Oh, my God…when I saw this, I could not help feeling that the legendary Stanley Kubrick was turning over in his grave!!! I think his 1980 adaptation of Stephen King’s novel, The Shining remains one of the scariest movies ever made — and I think many would agree with this (except, of course, Mr. King). Those twin girls, Grady the butler, that wicked woman in room 237, the eerie bartender, and of course, a demented Jack chasing his lovely wife up the stairs with a baseball bat…it all makes for a terrific horror movie, right?

Now, how many of you have watched this frightening film and wondered, “Hmm…this would have made an even better romantic comedy”? Most all of you, am I right? Well, here is a trailer to give you a good idea of what The Shining would have been like as a traditional rom-com. It is great stuff — and very, very funny. The use of music here (especially the Peter Gabriel track) is very clever, the editing is nicely done and the narration hits the mark as far as capturing the lame/trite goofiness that often accompanies these type of films.

Thanks so much to Nora who was sweet enough to send this my way!!!

Weekend Humor: “Grammar Nazis”

If you have seen Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, then you will undoubtably remember that lengthy scene that opens the film — a memorable one to say the least. Terrific performances, great tension/suspense that builds, inspired dialogue and impeccable pacing. To recap, it is 1941, and SS Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz, in his Oscar-winning performance) arrives at a dairy farm in France to interrogate Perrier LaPadite (Denis Menochet) to see if he is hiding a Jewish family. Landa uses his guile to persuade him to confess to hiding the family beneath his floor and then orders his soldiers to shoot the floorboards where they are hiding. The entire family is killed, except for Shosanna (Mélanie Laurent), who runs off in the distance as Landa calmly watches from afar. A truly magnificent opening.

Which brings me to this weekend’s video, “Grammar Nazis,” a wonderfully creative spoof of this remarkable scene by College Humor Originals. Now we all know that Nazis surely have little tolernance to begin with, but here, Col. Landa’s pet peeve is — poor grammar! It’s funny, funny stuff. The short 3½ minute video is directed by Sam Reich, Ricky Van Veen, & Josh Ruben and is a delightful homage that had me laughing when I first saw it. Click on the link below to watch it!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1935115

Thanks so much to Tracey for sharing this with me!!!

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