Gimme 5: Seriously Shitty Sequels!

I just posted a list of 10 movies to look forward to over the last few months of this year and included in this list is Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. This is of course, a sequel to the original that was released 23 years ago. I’m not a fan of sequels, especially the ones without much reason for them, the ones that are made so blatantly for money purposes. The trailer for Stone’s sequel is quite captivating and I am very much looking forward to seeing where Gordon Gekko goes from prison. But it got me to thinking about sequels in general and all the ones (as there have been oh-so-many) that have simply stunk up the screen. So for this week’s “Gimme 5” feature, I am asking you to share your own thoughts and, off the top of your head:

GIMME 5 SERIOUSLY SHITTY SEQUELS!!!

I will start…(in no particular order)

1. Caddyshack 2 (1988)
everyone but Chevy was smart enough to bail out
2. Ocean’s 12 (2004)
so bad Clooney had to apologize for it when the 3rd came out
3. The Matrix Reloaded & Revolutions (2003)
I get a two-fer here!!!
4. Staying Alive (1983)
bad sequel, but does make for an awesome comedy!
5. Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
campy in the worst way possible; Michael Caine to this day says he only did it for the money…

Now it’s YOUR Turn!!!

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38 Responses to Gimme 5: Seriously Shitty Sequels!

  1. Richard says:

    I combined the five best and five worst sequels in a post I wrote a while back. I stuck to the second movies in the series. If I hadn’t, Jaws: The Revenge would surely have replaced Jaws 2 in the list. 😉

    http://blahmovies.wordpress.com/2010/05/08/that-difficult-second-movie/

    • great list. I see we agree on a few. I think Godfather III gets a bad rap. It was an excellent film that could never live up to the first two. Granted the Sophia Coppola experiment was an utter debacle and that subplot was silly — but I thought this was a solid film that deserved its 7 Oscar noms….not too shabby for a second sequel.

  2. Mike Santini says:

    There are too many to list, although I must say you guys covered most of them. I would say in the Horror genre, sequals are expected to more than likely suck, especially when the original (ie Critters) was already terrible. Sequels that suck in my opinion should be limited to movies where the first one was great, and the sequel is meant to build on the previouse plot. If it is built on a stack of shit–hence a sequel that sucks. If they ever made a Glengarry Glenross 2, that would more than likely be a sequel that sucked. I am also looking to Wall Street, especially since taking the story on now, 23 years later makes sense, since he would probobly be getting out of jail by now.

    • Agreed – the original should at least be very good in order for the sequel to disappoint. Glengarry is a classic – a phenomenal achievement by Mamet, Foley and the entire cast. It has been so long since the original Wall Street — and that is a good sign in my opinion.

  3. 5. Lethal Weapon 3 – The first is a classic, the second a good action-comedy but it all went down the crapper fast with this one and don’t get me started on Part 4!
    4. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls – Jim Carrey was spot on in the first one and had some really good laughs. The second dumbs down the character and relies on pratfall humor.
    3. Slap Shot 2 – A *film* with absolutely no reason behind its existence.
    2. Beverly Hills Cop 3 – Eddie, Eddie, Eddie… did you really need the money this bad?
    1. Caddyshack 2 – There is no contest here. This is hands down not only the worst sequel ever made but on par with the worst movies ever made.

    • very original and wise choices! I had no idea a Slap Shot 2 even existed? Was it a straight to DVD?! I bet the Hansons were in it though! Yes, love Lethal Weapon and you know how I feel…the first two are fine and went straight downhill from there. Yes, Eddie always needs the money (see Golden Child, Pluto Nash, Imagine That, et al)….I agree with your number #1. The first is comedy gold and Ted Knight, Dangerfield, Murray all make the movie. Jackie Mason was awful and this film should have been buried under the 17th hole before release!!!

      • Yes, of course the Hanson brothers are in it! But it gets better. Stephen Baldwin essentially takes over the Paul Newman role!! You don’t even to see it to know how bad it is.

  4. Olive says:

    One of the worst sequels for me has to be the Matrix ones. Then again, I guess the first movie was that good, that it was hard to live up to expectations. Other honourable mentions are Speed 2 and Batman and Robin.

    • never actually watched Speed 2 because it just looked terrible – so I will take your word for it! Matrix was brilliant and I’m surprised they followed it up with these two train wrecks. What’s the deal – you didn’t like Batman’s nipple costume???

  5. Corey says:

    Blues Brothers 2000
    Dumb and Dumberer
    Batman and Robin
    Clerks 2
    Caddyshack 2

    • all awful, terrible films. Well done. Blues Brothers & Caddyshack 2 should never have even been attempted. The others are painful messes as well (as was the first Clerks – but I just wanted to get that dig in there while I could….ha!)

      • Corey says:

        Yeah, I wasn’t a fan of the first Clerks either, but the second one was extra shitty. I think Kevin Smith was just using it to regain some of his fans after Jersey Girl.

  6. Marc says:

    I agree that Matrix Revolutions was pretty bad, but I really like Reloaded even with its faults. Best action of the series I think. Anyway, here’s mine:

    Rise of the Silver Surfer (not that the first one was great but this was terrible)
    Spider Man 3
    Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure (not even passable w/ beer)
    Alien: Resurrection (I would actually watch AVP I & II before that p.o.s again)
    Transformers 2 (farting/humping robots and the twins?? Really Bay??)

    • Excellent and shitty choices, one and all. Though I must admit, I had no idea there was a Christmas Vacation sequel! Ha! And I expect nothing less from Mr. Bay who long ago told us that he really has nothing of any worth to say to his audience. Spiderman 3 just pisses me off it was so bad.

  7. Nora says:

    Grease 2
    Legally Blonde 2
    Spiderman 3
    Jurassic Park 3
    definitely Oceans 12 (& 13, for that matter)

    Honorary mention: Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007). Haven’t seen it… but I bet it’s shitty enough, simply for lack of Geoffrey Rush & his awesome mustache.

    • Raul Duke says:

      Nora,
      You put a movie on the list you have not viewed yet? WOW! I bet your predisposition is 100% correct. Was the trailer that bad HAHA? Also, I believe to make the list the original movie should have been rated good and the sequel bad. Legally Blonde? Was the first one any better than the second?

      • Nora says:

        Hahaha the original is one of those movies that is so bad, it’s kind of good. Cause you can’t take your eyes off of it, and you can’t stop laughing… Ask Peter! He knows what I’m talking about. And yes, I thought Legally Blonde was funny – go ahead, judge me. Watch what happens 😛

    • Spiderman 3 was close to making mine. That movie just angered me it was so bad. Yes, both Ocean’s sequels sucked ass as well. I had no idea that there was a sequel to Haunted Hill!!! Were there really that many unanswered questions to the ifrst one that a sequel had to be made?!

    • rtm says:

      Haven’t watched too many shitty sequels fortunately, but have to agree with those overrated Oceans flicks, blech!

      • you are correct. they are an insult to the moviegoing public. They feel “as long as we get everyone involved again, people will pay to see it” without giving a shit about the script. Soderbergh is better than that!

      • Marc says:

        I think 12 was terrible but 13 was nearly a return to form. It made up for 12 but still fell short of 11. Also, probably the best… scratch that, most passable Pacino flick since Any Given Sunday.

        • True. 12 was awful. 13 was just below-par. Don’t knock Al, man. The guy is doing Shakespeare in the Park now — something not many celebrity-actors would ever dare to do (I’m talking Nicholson, DeNiro, Ford, Hanks, et al)

    • Heather says:

      Jurassic Park III paid no love for the first film, but it was a fun and silly pointless movie. I dug it.

  8. Raul Duke says:

    Oh so many to choose from.
    Here is my list. I know these all suck.
    1) Staying Alive. Oh John why did you listen to Sly?
    2) Caddyshack 2.
    3) Blues Brothers 2000
    4) The Sting II
    5) Jaws The Revenge

  9. Dan says:

    Oh, I haven’t seen Stayin Alive for years. I think it was one my mum used to like!

    Here’s my five seriously shitty sequels (drawn entirely from the back end of poor horror franchises):

    1. Amityville 3-D
    2. A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child
    3. Halloween: Resurrection
    4. Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood
    5. Critters 4: They’re Invading Your Space

    • Yeah the horror ones almost always suck badly. I can’t wait to watch Troll 2 actually. Heard so much about it. I can’t even say I’ve seen these because I usually stay away from the horror sequels but you know what? I take your word for it!

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