Gimme 5: Movies So Awful You Wanted A Refund!

June 18, 2010 by 41 Comments

It’s time for Friday’s “Gimme 5!” feature!!! Last week’s was the first one posted here on Magic Lantern Film Blog, and it went over pretty well. Got some excellent feedback from movie-lover’s on their Top 5 favorite comedy films. What I personally love about this is that, if I have never seen a particular movie, I will add it to my rental queue based merely on the suggestion of you, the movie-lover. It’s quick, it’s fun — and hopefully will spark further debate and interaction on this website.

So now on to this week’s topic – Your Personal Top 5 Movies that you felt were so horrifically bad that you wanted a refund. I mean, you leave the movie theatre and have this desperate urge to write hate mail to the entire creative team involved. No need for any long write-ups or anything. Just gimme your list of 5.

Now this isn’t for films you think are over-rated (that’s a completely different topic). There are those movies I personally did not like at all that many film-lovers admire greatly (i.e. “The Hurt Locker” or “A Few Good Men”), but I wouldn’t think to include it on this particular list just for the sake of trying to stand out or make a feeble point. No…this is for films you found embarrassingly dreadful with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Have Fun!

Gimme Your Top 5 Movies So Awful You Wanted A Refund! I will start…

1. Caddyshack 2                                                     
2. Runaway Bride
3. 9 Songs
4. The Brown Bunny
5. Even Cowgirls get the Blues

Now It’s Your Turn!!!

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41 Responses to Gimme 5: Movies So Awful You Wanted A Refund!

  1. PL says:
    July 27, 2010 at 6:06 PM

    1. The Contract
    2. Shadow Boxer
    3. Basic Instinct
    4. The Happening
    5. Bangkok Dangerous

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      July 27, 2010 at 6:28 PM

      I don’t even bother seeing Shamaylan films anymore so I missed The Happening. He stinks. Never saw your #1 and #2. I will take your word for it. Basic Instinct was bad, but have you ever taken a look at the sequel???

      Reply
      • PL says:
        July 28, 2010 at 3:44 PM

        I agree, I actually meant Basic Instinct 2… The Contract has Morgan Freeman and the Shadow Boxer had Cuba Gooding and Helen Mirren.

        Reply
  2. Patrizia says:
    June 23, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    1. Drag me to hell
    2.Kazaam
    3. the master of disguise
    4.Blair witch
    5.The grudge

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      June 23, 2010 at 10:31 PM

      Yeah, these are horrible movies. Good choices. Drag Me to Hell got good write-ups too and I was excited to see it, but it stunk. Notice Dana Carvey doesn’t get any more star vehicles after his flop!

      Reply
  3. Heather says:
    June 22, 2010 at 2:05 PM

    1. Armageddon
    2. Forces of Nature
    3. Ghost Of Girlfriends Past
    4. Hollow Man
    5. 10, 000 B.C.

    Reply
  4. Tracey says:
    June 20, 2010 at 10:15 AM

    1. Black Snake Moan
    2. Diary of a Wimpy Kid
    3. Shark Boy and Lava Girl
    4. Public Enemies
    5. The Informant

    Reply
  5. Ludovico Files says:
    June 19, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    In no particular order of awfulness…
    1. Taking Lives (2004)
    2. Land of the Lost (2009)
    3. Out for Justice (1991)
    4. The Scout (1994)
    5. Judge Dredd (1995)

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      June 19, 2010 at 4:18 PM

      Boy, you hate The Scout. Poor Albert Brooks. And you saw land of the Lost??? WHY???

      Reply
      • Ludovico Files says:
        June 20, 2010 at 11:53 AM

        It was on HBO and I thought I’d give it a chance. Utter crap! The original TV show was better. And Will Farrell’s standard “arrogant buffoon” shtick really grates on me.

        Reply
      • Ludovico Files says:
        June 20, 2010 at 11:57 AM

        PS – Yes, The Scout was so bad I can’t cleanse it from my memory. Not poor Albert Brooks, but more shame Albert Brooks. This was a paycheck movie for him and it shows. the whole film reeks of insincerity!

        Reply
        • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
          June 20, 2010 at 1:12 PM

          Ouch! Well, then you better get on the first “Gimme 5” listing and put Mr. Brooks, who you so viciously slandered here on the worldwide web, on the best comedies ever with Defending Your Life!!!

          Reply
  6. Dan says:
    June 19, 2010 at 5:06 AM

    Although I didn’t see 9 Songs in the cinema I would have demanded a refund. Michael Winterbottom is a daring and talented director but this was a truly appalling film. I’m still not sure what it was trying to achieve. Two terrible actors going to music gigs and having sex – literally.

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      June 19, 2010 at 12:25 PM

      9 Songs was DREADFUL!!! Yes, he is daring and I think here he tried to be too much so just for the sake of being daring without really having much to say. The sex was just boring and after 2 songs I wanted to shoot myself…

      Reply
  7. Red says:
    June 18, 2010 at 8:57 PM

    While I get the point you are trying to make, I personally have never wanted a refund from just watching a horrible movie. I have had my fair share of turning off movies after 15-20 mintues (The Love Guru, Southland Tales), but to me it’s mostly my responsibility to read up on a film before hand to know whether I should watch it or not, although I believe I have become a pretty good judge of that on my own. This is why I typically stick to reading only one or two of the same reviewers. I know their tastes and how mine compare, and the system has worked for the most part.

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      June 19, 2010 at 12:24 PM

      I think all of us do the same thing – and try to stay away from the truly bad movies by reading up on them. That said, it’s not bulletproof and I am sure all of us can select 5 movie (at least) that we thought were ultimate crap. This is just supposed to be a fun list here, nothing academic.

      Reply
  8. Castor says:
    June 18, 2010 at 4:02 PM

    A few recent stinkers:
    – The Ugly Truth
    – Gamer
    – Legally Blonde 2
    – Hitman
    – Twilight

    I haven’t seen any of those in theater except for Hitman but yea, I could use the dead brain cells back.

    Reply
  9. Aaron Weiss says:
    June 18, 2010 at 3:49 PM

    I only have one that I truly got my money back for, Lady in the Water. This movie was just terrible. M. Night’s worst.

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      June 18, 2010 at 4:17 PM

      Not a fan of his. He seems very narcissistic in his filmmaking and is preoccupied with trying to outdo the success of his 1st film. Never saw this one, probably never will.

      Reply
  10. Aiden R says:
    June 18, 2010 at 12:51 PM

    Damn, I don’t know if I can come up with a Top Five for this one, I do my best to avoid horrible movies in theaters. First thing that comes to mind is Greenberg, but that’s it. I can only imagine what it must have been like to pay and sit through Caddyshack 2. Jackie Mason, man…f*ck that guy.

    And as much as I hate to admit it, I kinda liked Runaway Bride. Something about that Richard Gere. Please don’t judge me.

    Also, tagged you for the Versatile Blogger award/meme. Keep on keepin’ on, dude.

    I want YOU…to want MEME!

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      June 18, 2010 at 1:42 PM

      I can’t help but judge you!! I like Gere also, but that is the last movie I actually walked out on midway through, it was that bad. I did not care for Greenberg either. Thank you so much for the tag on your site! Greatly appreciated! What do I need to do…I read the article but not sure what the rules are here….

      Reply
      • Aiden R says:
        June 18, 2010 at 2:27 PM

        Long and short of it is this…

        1. Thank the person who gave you this award
        2. Share 7 things about yourself
        3. Pass the award along to 15 (I only did 5, 15’s a lot) who you have recently discovered and who you think fantastic for whatever reasons! (in no particular order)
        4. Contact the blogs you picked and let them know about the award.

        Did mine on video games just because there was an epic wave of memes going around a couple months ago with the same directions and I’ve kinda run out of interesting facts as a result. Anywho, that’s about it. Go nuts!

        Reply
  11. Nora says:
    June 18, 2010 at 10:47 AM

    So many, hard to name just 5… but here you go:

    Sweet November
    Gummo
    The Other Boleyn Girl
    300
    Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

    Reply
  12. Raul Duke says:
    June 18, 2010 at 10:23 AM

    1) We’re No Angels ( Deniro & Penn at their worst. Basically a payday film).
    2) From Paris With Love. Utterly Horrific. I will dispute my pay per view bill.
    3) Sixteen Candles. Need I say more?
    4) Maid in Manhattan. J Lo= Great Ass, Bad actress.
    5) Staying Alive. Sorry John, you make the list twice.

    Reply
  13. Mad Hatter says:
    June 18, 2010 at 8:54 AM

    Two years ago (almost to the day!) I was considering this very topic! Here’s what I came up with…

    http://mcneilmatinee.blogspot.com/2008/06/wasted-time.html

    Reply
    • Peter Eramo Jr. says:
      June 18, 2010 at 11:29 AM

      Yes, The Break-Up was God awful. I really did enjoy the Grinch though. Thought is was very well made and Carrey was terrific.

      Reply
      • Mad Hatter says:
        June 18, 2010 at 11:34 AM

        Hell no. I couldn’t believe that in taking a 22 minute cartoon and expanding it to 105 that they cut out so many of the charming details rather than expanded upon them. And did we really need to give The Grinch a backstory?

        Pity, becasue like you say, Carrey was a pretty good Grinch.

        Oh, and thanks for the new linkage love btw!

        Reply

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